I Got The Call and It's Official...

Not only have I recently celebrated an emothional birthday (see "Happy Birthday To Me,") ...but my doctor's office called last week.  They wanted to let me know that my blood test came back and I was officially in MENAPAUSE!  Now in the back of my mind, I was expecting this phone call and I could of guessed the results, but to actually here the words out loud was surreal.  And did the 25 year old medical assistant who delivered the news to me even know the impact of her words?   There was no "hi how are you," or "why don't you sit down before I tell you this."  She just blurted out "You are in Menapause."  No congratulations, are you okay or even instructions of what to do.  So there I was, with the phone by my ear trying to think of anything to say so she wouldn't hang up just in case she had a revelation of what to say to me next.  When I asked if there was anything I should do, she said my ovaries would now shrival up, if I had hot flashes I couldn't live with call  the office and we'll see you next year for your yearly appointment. Wait, go back, my ovaries would shrival up. She said that as casually as if she was telling me the lunch specials for the day.
Now, it's not like I was planning on having any more babies (my kids would be so embarrased to hear me say that) and don't get me wrong, I am sure not complaining about never having my period again and all associated with that  (yea, I can now wear my white pants all summer long without having to replan my outfit if it turns out to be "that time of the month"),  but it seemed so final.  I just entered another one of those milestone times in life.  They sure seem to be happening a lot lately.  There is no going back.  It is another indication that I am getting older.  I now have one less thing in common with my younger female friends.  I can't sit with them and binge on chocolate talking about my cramps, moods and bloating.  I know physically that is a good thing, but emotionally it is one more thing I have to get used to. 

Now my husband on the other hand isn't fazed by this.  He still feels he has to deal with my moods, and emotional ups and downs.  How could he or any other man understand.  As I have told him, his hormones have been the same since I have known him.  We woman get periods, get pregnant, go through perimenapause and menapause.  Our bodies are constantly changing.  So for now, I will rely on my friends to get through this time and learn to enjoy the next phase of life.

I may not get my period anymore, but that is no reason to give up my chocolate indulgences.  Except now, there is no excuse for them.

Happy Birthday To Me!

So it was my birthday last week. I always remember when it is, but I do sometimes forget how old I am going to be.  I never understood when "older people" couldn't remember their age, but sometimes it really does become a blur.  I still can't believe my age begins with the number five in front of it.  But lately, even though my head thinks I can still be like the 30 somethings, my joints are begininning to tell me different!

But this birthday was  different for me.  I did remember my age.  I knew what was coming up and I think I may of even been more anxious for it then when I turned 50.  You see, my mom died at 53.  Yea, 53! When I was 23 she died of colon cancer.  What in the heck was that.  In 1985 no one even knew what that was.  Anyway, losing my mom was such an emotional time in my life, but since she was "old" to me, people die.

Fast forward 27 years and now I am turning 53 and I have a 24 year old daughter.  It is like I am looking at my life in reverse.  When I look at my daughter, I can't even imagine how really young I was to lose my mom.  And now that I am 53 I can not even imagine how really young my mom was to die.  

So for all these years, I have grown up with the mindset that you die at 53.  I didn't know anything past then.  My husband would talk about retirement, traveling, the kids getting married, being grandparents, etc., and I would listen and nod my head, but would not imagine myself as part of those plans.  I never thought about what I would do when I was older, what kind of job I would have or how I would enjoy life.  I thought it would end at 53.   

Well the day has come and gone.  I am still here and hopefully wiser about my health.  I now know I can plan all those things I wanted to look forward to, like traveling, enjoying my adult children and someday being a grandmother.  It is like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders that I can do things again since I made it to 53 and am able to think about my life ahead.

So make an appointment TODAY for a colonoscopy.  Do it by the time you are 50 or earlier if you have a family history.   It is a lifesaving test. Now go out and enjoy your future!!

A Reflection Of The Past Eight Months

I know I have said it before, but I can't believe how life has moved so quickly since my beginning days of becoming an empty nest mom.  Not that I knew what to expect, but most of my apprehension came from my inner thoughts telling me that life would be over and no one would need me any more and I would shrivel up. It sounds silly now when I say it out loud, but your mind plays funny tricks on you.  I have been surprised that I have been doing okay.  Now maybe it is because I have been able to still see my kids a lot.  And it is funny when we don't live together...I think we might get along better.   I have been able to talk everyday to them (okay, the two girls...boys don't need to talk as much).  Thank goodness for texting and face time.  I think a mom must of invented it.  This technology has made the separation process easier.  And the more I give the kids their space, the more they actually want to talk.  But things are different.  They are now adults.  We have different kind of talks. Like about work, and 401K's and saving for houses.  And now, they are even there to help me with things.  So in the end, I thought life was going to drastically change for me but it turns out, I think it has changed for all of us.  We might even be creating a new kind of relationship.  And I think I might even be excited to see how this plays out!! Stay tuned.