"There isn't a child who hasn't gone out into the brave new world who doesn't return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes." - Art Buchwald
Wow! This is hard. I can't believe my youngest child...which I still refer to as my baby, will be leaving home soon. All I did was blink and she grew up. Eighteen years have gone by quicker than I could imagine. On the surface it doesn't seem that bad. I mean she is going to college only an hour away. But with this milestone I carry the most emotions. This is the last one to leave. It is also the day I will officially be an empty nester.
The funny thing is, this reminds me a little of how I felt when she was going to kindergarten. I remember thinking that I can't believe my baby is going to kindergarten. How quickly the time went by and most importantly, that she will now see the world and realize there is more than just her mom and dad and the safe and protected environment we tried to create for her (and all our children). I knew she would meet lots of friends, learn to read and start becoming independent. That is exactly how I feel about her going to college...she will meet lots of friends, learn new things, and start becoming really independent, only this time she will be far away and living on her own. She will again learn that there is more than mom and dad that influences her life and that she is now responsible for her own decision. She will not be in our safe and protected environment anymore. She will now want to explore the world out there and I won't be able to protect her as I have tried for the past 18 years (okay some people may have called it smothering) I know you only have your kids for a short while in life to teach them how to become independent and the values and morals you believe in...but are you ever ready? I mean really ready to let go. Since time does not stand still, I do not have a choice but to let it happen. Good or bad, I just know life will be different. I'll mostly miss our afternoon snacks and talks. When it was just her and me. With the energy and excitement she brought home to tell me all about her day. She might of had her "teenage moods," but for some reason from 3:45-4:00 that was such a time of peace and reconnecting between us, that was OUR time. I will so miss that. It will now have to be over the phone, or for that matter, a text, if at all. The only positive that can come out of this is not having the afternoon snack together anymore. Maybe then I can lose a few pounds, and that would be a good thing.
And most importantly, I know I have to be strong for her too. I don't want her to have any doubts about her independence or have her think I don't trust her strength and capabilities of moving forward in her life. I know she will do fine. She is a lovable person with a warm and caring heart. She will find she is stronger then she thinks.
Now me on the other hand, I hope my strength comes through in figuring out what comes next. I guess this will be like my first day of kindergarten!
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