Women Make the Best of Friends!

In dealing with my upcoming empty nest situation, I thought I would send an e-mail to some of my girlfriends letting them know about my blog to see if anyone was going through what I was.  I can't believe the e-mails I received back with not only advise (travel was the number one suggestion to overcome the sadness of being an empty nester) but stories of what they were also going through.   What I found intersting was that no matter what part of the country they were from (I am lucky to keep in touch with friends in many places since we moved a lot in the past 20 years) their different backgrounds and whether they had one child or 4, most of us were going through the same thing.  Why don't women talk about this more?  We still are so busy taking care of everything else.  We can talk about kids, our jobs, what diet we are on and sometimes even divulge personal information about our husbands, sex and money.  But why haven't we kept in touch with each other more about what is really going on in our lives. Now more than ever, we women need to be there for each other whether it be our friend, neigbor, co-worker, sister or acquaintance and help each other through this very common (as I am finding out) and inevitable time of our life.

In one of my other blogs I was also reflecting on no only becoming an empty nester, but  thinking about the kind of mother I was.  Realizing I was a helicopter mom (okay I admitted it) did I make the right choices in the best interest of my kids, where could I of changed, was I too tough, or not tough enough.  I am always searching the intenet for other women's stories, inspirational quotes or advise they might have on motherhood.  Little did I know, the best advise I got was right in my own back yard...a good friend of mine for more years than I can count (we are way in the double digits) sent me a beatuiful and eloquently written piece of advise that I thought (with her permission) would be an inspiration to others

"As parents, our dreams for our children are that they grow into caring, competent adults.  And you have shown that even "helicopter mom's" can do this.

You have given your children what they have needed, which may not have always been what they have wanted.  The mother that they needed as a toddler was different from the mother that they needed as a teenager. Now the job description changes again as you are now the mother of adults.

The helicopter mom that you were has helped your children to grow into fearless adults. The hovering has helped guide them away from becoming foolish adults.

Your children are fearless enough to give their love to significant others, even when there is a chance that they could get hurt.  They are fearless enough to travel halfway across the country, even though that means leaving their support system (you) behind.  They are fearless enough to go off to school, when they could easily have enjoyed the comforts of home while pursuing their education.

Your job is not over. It is again changing.  Congratulations, your children are fearless."

Thank you Linda -